Cool for Chaos
by rotten daydreams
Summary: She wasn't sure what she was, but she did understand that in order to survive, she would need to become strong. Dying would not be on her agenda for a long time, she hoped. (Undecided Pairing, Possible strong!OC, rebirth fic, as well as first fic. Title is from Cool for Chaos, by Nostalghia.)


Living life after life tended to get boring.

Birth was an annoying concept in itself. Useless, fumbling limbs, lack of bladder and sphincter control, wild emotional flares, and horrible eyesight made infancy an annoying thing all together. But having to experience it time and time again got old and eventually she did manage to get better control, but only somewhat. She could do nothing about fetal development to make her eyes automatically better, and instead she was forced to be hyper-aware of her body as a child and even then it was difficult. Her bladder was tiny, so attempting to hold off urinating for long periods of time got hard, and when she slept and her muscles relaxed, she had an even worse time dealing with controlling her body in its tiny, useless state and typically she was forced to cry out so her parents could clean her up. Assuming they were awake after her cry, if not, she usually quieted and attempted to sleep in her uncomfortable state or she ended up awake all night until someone checked on her and sleeping all day.

The fact that she also experienced infancy for countless times also made things almost maddening. Growing up was another issue, and the different personalities she had attempted tended to all just blur into who she was originally, and even then, she couldn't quite figure out who that person was. So many lifetimes had swept up in whatever it was she was, that it got difficult to keep track of each and every one of them. Most of them she did forget, mostly because the lives were entirely mundane and useless.

Lives in which she had been a son to grow up and live on a farm; forgotten. Lives in which she was a daughter to be wed off to a man she barely knew; forgotten. Lives where she lived a boring, useless existence that did nothing for her or to the world; forgotten.

The only things she bothered to remember were that she had started off as a female, despite her numerous existences as males. She also knew that her earliest memories stemmed far back in time, but the memories themselves had become nothing but small glimpses at lives that would prove harmful to remember as whatever it was that stored her memories could only handle so much. If she dared to keep all her memories intact, they would surely drive her insane.

Instead she kept track of things she learned. Languages, education, practical knowledge, and with all of these things she had to keep them within herself as to not draw attention to the fact she was aware. She would be branded some type of genius and that was the last thing she wanted. She had no time to be coddled because of what she could remember and she was by no means a genius. She simply had a library of memories and knowledge at her disposal, and after how many lives she lived, it would be surprising if she could not have genius-like skills. If anything, she was more of an expert learner than a genius. A genius caught onto things quickly, their mind developing quickly and sucking all the information in. For her, she had many lifetimes to learn and learn again, to unlearn, and relearn until most things became second knowledge to her.

She was by no means a genius. She just had a long existence that she wasn't sure would ever end.

Those who were closest to her tended to realize something was up with her as soon as she was old enough. She didn't cry enough, she didn't smile enough, she didn't laugh enough. Her emotional response to things were slow or not there at all and she had issues making connections to people. As she saw it, everything was the same, and the point of making connections was a hassle. To love all of the parents she ever had would be exhausting. To love every lover she had was more exhausting. To make connections like that tended to drive her mad, and those who pushed it usually got stuck with dealing with a brick wall and most of the time, they gave up.

However, there were a few who actually managed to break past that fortress of her's. Namely because of how persistent they intended on being. No matter how many times she tried to push them away, they came back. It was like she was a nearly unmovable force, and they were an unstoppable force. Only, unlike them, she did give way after enough pushing.

The only thing she could really find herself enjoying was books. Of course, after having to read books for school, she tended to memorize the stories she was forced to read over and over. To Kill a Mockingbird, anything by Edgar Allen Poe or Robert Frost, and even other books of other languages that she could easily translate three times over, word for word. Still, books and movies allowed her mind to escape for a while and at times, she contemplated writing her own book about her own existence. She would have to add interesting details, however, as one could not continuously go on about a neverending life with no type of conflict. That would be a boring a pointless book. Actually, it would be more like a diary and she did not wish to be reminded of every life she lived. She had enough difficulties trying to keep sane on a regular basis and attempting to remind herself of every single thing would send her well over the edge.

Everything was the same, but books were an amazing escape, and as time moved forward, technology had made it easier and easier for her to get her hands on all kinds of stories in many different languages. She had a particular fondness for manga, as well as korean manhwa, and good old fashioned comics. Superheroes, silly stories, romantic situations that made her have a small bit of hope for a new romantic situation, powers unimaginable to even someone like her who, by all laws of reality, should not exist. Books gave her a temporary reprieve from the fact that she was doomed to exist again and again.

She found it all so entirely boring. Life after life, even the new experiences started to grow stale. The amount of lives she lost, the amount of deaths, it was all droll and sometimes she wished for something new.

She had been murdered more times than she could count. She lived as an amputee more than a few times. She battled with diseases and physical and mental disabilities more times than she cared to remember. It all ended the same; she would die, only to wake as an infant for it to begin all over again.

Fearing death was not something she did, either. If anything, it annoyed her. Having to become an infant once more, and do it all over again got annoying. Most of her lives she spent either as safe as possible, or not caring. It all depended on how bored she managed to get.

This time around, however, she was simply tired. This life she had been called Lisianna, and she supposed she enjoyed that name, as it was a bit strange and not something she heard often in her existence. She was twenty three, diagnosed with leukemia fairly late. She had already lost a lot of weight, coming to a sickly ninety pounds compared to her once healthy one hundred and forty three pounds that she had been over a year ago. She was weak and there wasn't much they could do other than make her comfortable until she died, and it had been difficult. Mostly, she was uncomfortable, but most of her time was spent either asleep or reading books as she waited for the cycle to repeat once again.

It took a while before the end truly came, and when it did, she was glad that this life was over so that the cycle could simply repeat over again.

With a shaky breath, the book within her hands had slid down as she felt her heartbeat quicken then slow down greatly, and without much struggle, she allowed her eyes to close as her heart finally stopped and her body went limp.

* * *

><p>To her, dying was like blinking for a very long time. Her eyes closed in one life, and after an indiscernible amount of time, her eyes opened to a blurry world while her body wailed from how uncomfortable she was. She never experienced time in the womb, and neither did she truly experience any births, either. It was almost as if babies were empty vessels after being born before they were given souls, assuming there was other things like her that even existed. If not, then she really didn't know how the afterlife worked. Perhaps most souls were reincarnated, but blessed with being able to forget.<p>

If only she could forget things. Instead she had memories on top of memories, but she could not dwell on them for long as she felt that soft pull before realizing she was in a new body and instantly the hyper-awareness kicked in.

_Female body, again._ Her thoughts hummed as she realized there was something else there. Something unfamiliar, which was a new feeling in itself.

_Do I have a disease? No, this doesn't feel bad._ Her thoughts buzzed quietly as she tried to pinpoint what that feeling was. It was like there was a silent humming beneath her skin, sort of like being completely aware of her pulse, but everywhere from the tips of her toes to her head. It was interesting, and most of all, it was uncomfortable. Namely because it was so strange. The feeling itself was like having another layer of skin she was aware of, and didn't actually cause discomfort, but rather the fact she was aware of it made her uncomfortable.

_This is new…_ Part of her lit up at the new feeling. It was something she was unfamiliar with and it was almost like a game to her. If she experienced something new, she bookmarked it within her soul, seeing as she assumed that was where her memories remained. The fact she was able to be excited about something in so long actually stirred something akin to happiness in her gut. It meant no more of the same old thing, at least, for a while. Of course, as she grew, whatever it was within her system would become normal and mundane, but that didn't decrease the amount of excitement she had.

That is, until her bladder decided it was a perfect time to relieve herself. She had forgotten about how hyper aware of her body she needed to be. Her excitement changed her focus, leaving her bladder and sphincter control open.

_Time to meet the parents, then._ She inhaled slowly before giving out a deliberate wail. The tears were easy enough to call upon as she continued to wail until a blurred figure leaned over her and massive hands gripped her sides and she was lifted from what she assumed was her crib.

From what she could see, the person who lifted her had tanned skin and most other features were hard to make out, other than the fact that the person wore darker clothing. Her wailing stopped as soon as she was cleaned and she was shocked to find herself pushed against the person's chest. Either they were a flat chested female with a broad body, or a male was holding her. Either way, she found their warmth to be comfortable, and before she could truly control it, she had nodded off.

* * *

><p>It had taken a few weeks before her eyes were able to see somewhat clearly, and during that time she learned that her parents were Japanese speaking people, though she doubted they were truly of asian descent, given her mother's light skin tone and her father's rusty colored skin.<p>

She had also found out that her name was Yua, though her father seemed adamant about nicknaming her Yuyu for reasons she could not quite understand.

Her parents were an odd couple from what she saw. Her father had a natural tan, faded dark brown hair that was shaved along the sides of his head, leaving a middle bit of his hair that he pulled back into a messy bun, and strange orange eyes that she thought was only possible by contacts. Her mother was rather normal looking, from what she could see. Her hair was a reddish brown, leaning more towards red than brown, and flat dark grey eyes. She wasn't sure, but it almost appeared that her eyes were pupilless, but that was impossible unless she was blind in both eyes and from what she'd witnessed, her mother could move about just fine.

She had decided her parents were odd, but they seemed loving enough. Her father could not get enough of her and was usually the one to take care of her while her mother attempted to get the man to relinquish her, but most of the time he refused and held tighter onto her instead. Though it was uncommon for her to develop emotional bonds with most of her families, she could already feel a steady warmth in her chest whenever she saw each of her parents.

Then something had broken her easy development in her infancy. At first, she figured it was just cosplay and that her parents were perhaps into anime, which could easily explain her father's orange eyes, but it wasn't until her father walked out with a silver headplate on dark blue material wrapped around his forehead and before she could verify exactly what it was she saw, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Needless to say, she did not stop crying for all of two days before she began to hunker down and think things out.

_If I am not delusional or hallucinating, then that means I have found myself in a completely different world that eerily resembles Naruto. If that is the case, then I need to understand where I am in the story. Am I before or after Naruto's life? _She stared upwards at the ceiling above her crib, her mind buzzing quickly. If what she was thinking was true, then that odd feeling she had felt was chakra, but didn't children have underdeveloped chakra?

_Neither of my parents have any features that leads them to a clan, but it is evident that my father is a ninja who is rather capable. If this is the case, then I may be expected to become a ninja… I think if this is before Naruto's time, I should become one for the sake of being able to survive longer than a few years. If- heaven forbid- this is during Naruto's time, then I definitely need to become a ninja, if only to evade being slaughtered. If it is peaceful, then I will live my life as a civilian. _She let out a brief gurgle of a hum, her eyes sliding shut as she contemplated what it was that she should do. If she was born before Naruto, there was a chance she'd never meet any of the influential characters within the series. Assuming she was born inside of an important hidden village, if even that. That was also assuming what she had seen wasn't an actual hallucination.

_I am over thinking things._ She exhaled out of her nose and curled up within her crib. She was not going to think anymore on the subject and instead drifted off into a fitful sleep.

* * *

><p>Something had been wrong as she was pulled out of her sleep. Something was wrong, and ugly, and it felt horrible. She liked to think she did not fear death after experiencing it so many times, but whatever was in the air made her want to run and hide or fight for her very life and she could do neither.<p>

Her breath had actually caught within her throat, keeping any cries or screams locked tightly within her throat as she attempted to roll over and only succeeded in thrashing about.

What could she do? This was evil, whatever it was had made the very air itself evil and vile. It was poisoned, everything was now poisoned and she would be left to die as an infant who would not able to experience this new life. Everything she knew was nothing; it was awful and she wanted to not exist anymore.

Centuries upon centuries of existing and she wished for it to end right then. But she had wanted to live… to live and strive and be strong and love her new parents in this new life.

She barely felt herself being lifted by a blur of black and rust.

She missed the frantic breathing of her father as he ran to a place she couldn't place.

Her mind buzzed unpleasantly of negative thoughts before her body gave out and her head fell against her father's shoulder.

* * *

><p>It was difficult to piece together what had happened, but it was understandable that the Kyuubi had attacked a few nights ago, and during that time, her mother must have perished.<p>

She found it hard to look at her father. His orange eyes that use to be really lively looked somehow duller and hooded and his once chipper demeanor had become sluggish and tired.

_That was Kyuubi, meaning I am a month or two older than Naruto. So I will be forced to become a ninja, then… This will be difficult. _She exhaled through her nose and gently tried to push her body up, watching as her father eyed her warily before picking her up so she could rest against his chest.

_I can't comfort him in this state._ She frowned as she adjusted her head as best as she could to see her father's face.

"Daa."

Her mouth couldn't form more than that, and she really wished she could actually talk to her father at this point. However, it seemed her trying to talk had the wanted effect of her father perking up and smiling.

"Hah, I told Emiko your first word would be dad."

He grinned at that before his eyes became hooded and he frowned. She grumbled softly and jerkily tried to reach her arm up to swat her father's face, only to find her arms were pinned beneath her uncomfortably.

"Daaa."

He seemed to laugh at that response, reaching an arm up to poke at her nose.

"Ah, sorry. It's nap time, isn't it?"

She wanted to resist and make him hold her for longer, and to tell him she had literally just woken up, but she could do nothing, but accept with quiet defeat as her father laid her down. As much as she wanted to fight it off, sleep was quick to find her.

* * *

><p>Her first two years of life had been difficult.<p>

Her mother, who she had some affections for had died during the Kyuubi attacked, and her father did not seem to recover entirely, though after her first and second year of life, he had gone back to how she remembered him during their first months together.

She also had to deal with the lingering realization that she would have to become strong in order to survive. That feeling was not unfamiliar to her, but this entire world was brand new to her and she loved that fact. What she did not love was the fact that a lot would be happening after her initial twelve years of living. That is, if she managed to get involved with the original Rookie Nine. She could always attempt skipping a year, or waiting a year so she could avoid them.

All she really wanted to do was survive and become strong, and in this world, she could possibly become as strong as a god.

Though, that did not interest her much. She did not wish to tire of this world, but to experience all the new feelings it would bring and the joy of it all. That is, if she managed to live long enough.

For now, she had a lot of planning to do.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, not sorry for yet ANOTHER Naruto Rebirth OC! I can't promise mine will be 100% original, but I'm definitely going to try.<em>

_As for my oc, things will be explained onto __**what**__ she is, in time. For now, we'll call her an old soul and leave it at that._

_While I do have a lot of ideas swimming around in my head, I'm not 100% on where this story will go, but I have a vague idea._

_As for romance and junk... that'll be a long ways away, so I'm leaving the pairing up in the air. Perhaps if some of you leave reviews about who, I'll consider it, but for now she will treat everyone, but her father with passive indifference and yes, this will change in time._

_Oh, and she might become powerful in time? Nothing god-like, but definitely strong. We'll see what happens._

_Anyway, enough of rambling, if you enjoyed, please favorite, follow, or review and thank you for reading!_


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